It's 6pm now . i've just woken up from a 19 hour sleep . It wasn't easy trying to keep myself asleep . Sleeping isn't exactly something i enjoy nowadays , in fact , it has just became an outlet to numb myself from everything that's happening . Sometimes i wish i could just give up caring about every other thing on earth and just be really selfish , putting myself first in everything , couldn't give no shit about anyone else . Just sleeping my life away .

but noo ..

the world has to come with responsibilities , thing i " supposed " to do , " supposed " to follow . In additions to problems i face myself i have to deal with family . sometimes i feel though i'm surrounded by people who supposedly care , no one seems to be bothered much about me , end of the day , they just want their face , their pride , their happiness .
so be it , i'm not bothered , doesn't matter . I'm just doing things for the sake of doing things , doing things for my own future , and to keep myself out of trouble . like i haven't had enough to deal with . I'm tired of things not going my way , since this is a selfish world it seems .

Sometimes i feel that i'd still have hope , there's still chance . Then all of a sudden things just come crashing down when i think of stuff that has happened and will not change just because i'm unhappy . The world doesn't revolves around me it seems , i'm confused .

S 1:47 AM